The Hamster Has Left The Building

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So, I’ve been “up” from bed for I don’t maybe 5 hours and my brain has yet to start functioning beyond ….. beyond….see, I can’t even come up with the right words to explain.  Making this Meme is the extent of any brain power I had for the day what so ever.  Share away with others you feel will get a giggle out of it.  I figure if I don’t poke some fun at what ails me I’d lose whatever is left of my mind.  So, my Hamster took her wheel and went on vacation…not sure if it’s an over night trip or weeks, we’ll see 🙂

Peace and Love

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Find Joy In Every New Day

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Hey there friends and readers.  I do hope this post finds you pain free or at least tolerable.  If you’re not up to par I wish you quick relief.

I tell you (well I probably don’t need to tell you) that being positive is something that has to be worked on in the challenging times of illness.  I know sometimes I am no Miss Sally Sunshine either and have my “moments” but I do recognize that if I just find ONE thing that makes me smile it changes my attitude.  I just need to find that little something and today it was my baby boy ferrets Simon and Smokie.  Here they are.

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Normally my husband gets up in the morning and feeds all the critters:  we have 4 cats, 1 dog, 2 ferrets and fish.  This morning Rick had an early doctor’s appointment and he was able to get the cats and dog taken care of but not Simon and Smokie so I went in and boy were they happy to see me.  So I slowwwwwwly lowered myself to the floor (ya you know how hard that is for us to do let alone get up) and they had me laughing my fool head off even while I was battling some heavy vertigo.  Their jumping, running and “attacking” me just put me in the right frame of mind regardless of how I feel.

We just have to hold on.  The heavens know I have my days and pity party for one just as often as the rest of you but if we just need to find some Joy in everyday.  No matter how small it is.  Sometimes when I go to the grocery store (and I hate going there) I treat myself to a Starbucks and head for the floral department and stand there and smell the flowers.  The lady at Safeway who works in the floral department is used to my walk by sniffing sessions lol….

How is your day going?  Good, Bad or Indifferent….you can chat with me about it, I get it and I can be a great sounding board.

Here’s To A Pain Free Day!

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Jamie Volner Tucson Arizona

Freedom Of Speech Doesn’t Make You Less of An Ass

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I have taught my son growing up (and he hates this expression) “everything you do or say affects others around you.”   I understand “Freedom of Speech” but that doesn’t make you less of an ass for abusing that right.  What I mean about that is :just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” (a quote from the book Acheron by Sherrilyn Kenyon)

Everyone does have the right to their own opinion, their own ideas etc. but they don’t have the right to be a jerk about it.  Use your head, use your common sense, people have feelings.  I’m sure your feelings have been hurt at some point in your life.  Think before you speak.  If I said everything that came into my head I’d probably be burned at the stake.  Do they still do that?  Anyway you get it.

You know you see people riding in disabled carts at the store.  First thing I notice is a person will “inspect” them and make a decision upon what they “see” that person “can’t be disabled” they look just fine, or, “well if they’d lose some weight maybe they could walk”…ok that one pisses me off more than you can imagine.  That is a whole different topic.

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This is me, Chronic Gal….now making a snap judgement I look fine and healthy don’t I?  But if you see me with a cane or using a wheelchair because I LOOK good that means you can say to me out loud “Well maybe if you exercise more, or go back to work or……….”  Really?!  Your Freedom of Speech just set me back mentally about a week of feeling hurt and start questioning myself.  Freedom of Speech does NOT give you the right to be an ass!

I just ask, think,……..before……….you speak…..will what you say possibly hurt someone?  Being truthful, honest or exercise your right to open your mouth…comes with some sense of responsibility and common sense on your part.  I hear all the time “I don’t care, I can say what the fuck I want” or when asked why they can say that “because I can its my right, my freedom of speech”  :::::rolls my eyes::::: whatever….people need to learn some tact.  I guess I am “old school” when it comes to manners.

Tact you can click the link and learn about what it means (if you don’t already) hey, not being a smartass I’ve learned that many of our younger youth have no clue.

Alright, I’m done preaching.  I am all about Freedom of Speech I would just like people to take a step back and consider if what they feel they need to say will make a difference in the world or may someone’s world hurtful.

Peace Love & Light

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Who The Hell Knows?

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Over the years of fighting Fibromyalgia and a basket full of “other conditions” (I ran across a lady who put it this way and have adopted it lol) you get so sick of hearing the wars of is it real or made up (riiiiiiiiiiiiiight we all just have nothing better to do than have our lives turned upside down) is it all in our heads, no wait it’s in our neurological system….oh no no WAIT it’s……Who the Hell knows?  I sure as hell know it’s “not my imagination”.

In other words nobody has a clue as to where it comes from or what causes it but there sure are some interesting stories and theories.  Most of which I totally ignore.  I mean really, please, throw me an anti-depressant for my pain in my hips ya that will work NOT…..uhhhh thanks but you’re dumb.  Just because I was a nurse doesn’t make me a know it all but I do have common sense.  I know it’s real, I know what my CI has done to me and changed my life so BITE ME.

There is a theory I am a bit interested in today.  Ok so I am a survivor of severe physical and mental child abuse (ya we’ll save that for another time just know that) now I was repeatedly kicked in the head, neck and shoulders and they went for the hips when I was down on the floor.  All of which Fibromyalgia attacks.  Hold that thought.  I came across this article on a site for Adult Survivors of Child Abuse. Now this article is NOT saying its “all in our heads” it is saying damage sustained over years and years of my body taking abuse could have reacted and broken down my immune system….food for thought.  Okay so take a read and well talk some more.

Effects on physical health

Childhood abuse doesn’t just affect the mind – it affects the body too. Children who feel perpetually in danger grow up with a heightened stress response. This in turn heightens their emotions, makes it difficult to sleep, lowers immune function, and, over time, increases the risk of a number of physical illnesses. Adult survivors of child abuse are at increased risk of chronic pain and fibromylgia, gynaecological problems, irritable bowel syndrome, diabetes, arthritis, headaches, cardiovascular disease, and chronic fatigue syndrome. Adult survivors of child abuse are also more likely to smoke and drink more than other people in the community, and be less physically active. These factors all impact on the burden of ill health in many survivors’ lives.

Now, I’ve read it and the only thing that is off target for me is “less physically active” until I got so sick I was a person always on the run, working double shifts etc. I didn’t become less active until I got sick.  Okay so a person may come across this and has never dealt with abuse so this theory will be thrown out the window and back to square one but I will say this.  I had a Neurologist who was testing my functions etc one day and out of the blue he asked me “did you suffer any deep physical abuse in your life” and I just stared at him like uhhhhhhhhhhhhh and then told him briefly (after all he’s not a shrink lol) he then told me he feels strongly that people who suffered the blows to my body that I did, those who were in a severe car accident SOMETHING that hurt the neuro system could be a primary cause for the nervous system to “break down” and “malfunction”.

Once again “who the hell knows” but it certainly made for more food for thought.  Personally I don’t think FM is a “mental illness”.  I have always believed it has to do with our neurological system, a neurological disorder of the brain.  MS is a neuro illness and FM mimics it to the letter.  Coinkydink?  I think not.  There is a test that a neurologist can run but the FDA refuses to make it possible.  That is a spinal tap of our fluids in the spine and check our  substance P this is one way many doctors feel can give some answers to FM.  But it’s too “expensive” to have done so let’s not approve it.  Hey I sure as heck don’t want to do a spinal tap…been there done that for a pregnancy a long time ago and ummmm ya they suck….but if it can give me/us more answers, maybe help go in another direction on RESOLVING our illness or maybe putting into a remission so we can search for a cure…..I’d do it in a heartbeat.  Would you?

So, what is your take on this blog post?  Was just food for thought really.

Hope you’re having a pain free day!

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Jamie Volner Tucson Arizona

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See The Beauty In Each Day

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As one who deals with primary Fibromyalgia, CFS, Sjgroens Syndrome and a slew of other co-morbidities that come along with being ill it’s often very easy to fall into a pity party for one.  Been there done it and probably will do it again at some point.  I like to think about what I can find positive or humor through this mess in the land of my Chronic Kingdom.  This can make it hard to see the beauty in each day.  It’s there we just have to look past the pain and fatigue.

My past three days I’ve been in the realm of fatiguehood (like my new word?)  You know those days right?  Where lifting your head up seems like a major effort or trying to make your limbs work but they are lead weights?  You just kind of sit or lie there staring off into space because even thinking takes to much energy.  Sound familiar?

My husband and I had to leave the house yesterday while I was feeling so bleh, heck climbing into my car took all I had.  If it wasn’t a doctor appointment I had to go to I never would have left the house.  As we were driving I was looking around in a daze and saw something that opened my eyes and lifted my spirits.  It was a guy on the corner with his dog waiting for the light to change and he was loving on him and the dog was just so happy, tail wagging and looking up at his human with so much love you could fee itl.  That brought the first genuine smile to my face that day.

I guess what I am trying to say no matter how bad your day is find a way to see the beauty in each day even if just one thing!

  • I woke up alive
  • My husband woke up alive
  • My morning coffee in my chair and all my loving little animal creatures all come say good morning to me every morning

As your day progresses and if you are bed bound find a show or a movie you know will life your spirits, I love comedy’s because laughing always makes me feel a bit better.  Maybe this sounds lame but if anything has taught me to slow down and enjoy what is really around me then my illness in some ways has been a good reminder in my life of what not to take for granted.

Tell me what is one thing today you saw that was beautiful or something that made you smile.  I’d love to hear from you.  Reach deep down past the black murkiness that dwells inside and tell me something you are grateful for, or makes you happy.

Much Love and Light,

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Need Help With Filing For Disability?

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10 Tips For Being an Inspiration Living With CI

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I find in my roughest moments I seek out to help others.  It seems to give me a better perspective of what I am going through by helping another person get through their difficult and challenging day.  Often when you are isolating yourself from people around you connecting with like minded people who truly know what you are dealing with is an important factor on being able to go on.  Today is one of those days for me.

Reach out to others, hear them out, share your story over a cup of coffee even if it’s here on this blog or you can come join us on facebook at Chronic Gal’s page.  I may not have a lot of energy today but I always have time to help another CI gal or guy.  Together we can fight this and not feel alone.

Have the best day possible

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aka Jamie  Volner Tucson Az.

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CFS Pain & Fatigue

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Ahhhh good old Chronic Fatigue Syndrome aka CFS.  These past few days CFS just hit me out of the blue as per usual.  I have learned to detect the “warning signs” for me.  I start feeling “flu like” with a slight headache that nothing relieves, my glands in my throat and tonsils feel “feverish” and a bit sore and keeping my eyes open is next to impossible.  It’s taken me quite a while just to type this little bit so far…I keep dozing off.

I remember what “normal” tiredness felt like and I can tell you…..CFS is not it.  Not even anywhere  near the category of normal tiredness.  CFS is a nasty cycle and until it runs it course from days to weeks on end the best you can do is ride the storm of exhaustion.  Your concentration levels run from super slow to ADD like.  Mine at the moment is forgetfulness and some aphasia .  I can think what I need to say but when I open my mouth to talk, not so much.  I come off sounding like a babbling goof ball.

Make sure you listen to your body.  Your body will tell you to go lie down and rest but your brain will tell you to “stop being lazy”and go get this and that done.  We’ll safe that for another blog post.  You CANNOT feel guilty for  your lack of energy…chronic illness has  a “mind” of its on and your mind will put a lot of pressure on you to do things to the point of “over doing thingt” and you will pay for it even longer.

Pace yourself and be patient with yourself.

Chronic fatigue syndrome has eight official symptoms, plus the central symptom that gives the condition its name:

  • Fatigue
  • Loss of memory or concentration
  • Sore throat
  • Enlarged lymph nodes in your neck or armpits
  • Unexplained muscle pain
  • Pain that moves from one joint to another without swelling or redness
  • Headache of a new type, pattern or severity
  • Unrefreshing sleep
  • Extreme exhaustion lasting more than 24 hours after physical or mental exercise

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms often I would recommend bringing your doctor into the picture just to be on the safe side.  I myself and writing to you in bed with my laptop and my eyes closing every few seconds.

Be well and tell me, how do you deal with CFS?

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Courage Doesn’t Always Roar

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Courage doesn’t always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
“I will try again tomorrow.”.✻´´¯`✻.¸¸.
– Mary Anne Radmacher —

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I really love this saying about courage.  It always reminds me that tomorrow is a new day that dawns upon us.  Giving us new hope and to hold our heads up and find the courage to keep on going.  Whether it whispers to you or roars in your ears just keep trying!

((((HUGS))))

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